


Incredible

by KareziCaptain (rogueofheart)



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Just warning because it can be sad, Karezi - Freeform, Some of it is sad, Update feelings fucking hell, kktz, majoringintezkat, sad!Stuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-29
Updated: 2012-09-29
Packaged: 2017-11-15 06:15:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/524034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rogueofheart/pseuds/KareziCaptain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You hate her and you admire her and you love her although you're not even sure you know what that means, because the hemospectrum is gone, quadrants may as well be gone, and you, Karkat Vantas, are confused as fuck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Incredible

You hate her. You utterly, completely, and obsessively hate her. If you hear one more high pitched giggle or watch her throw her head back and cackle as she reaches her arms out to ruffle your hair, you are going to throw a punch at the nearest brick wall and hopefully break your arm. That should put you out of commision for a bit. You’re gonna need it, what does it take for a guy to get some goddamn rest around here?  
  
Oh look. She’s absconded, back at her computer with a small half smile plastered on her face. What the hell is making her so happy? Casually, you pace behind her, pretending you’re heading towards Kanaya’s computer but taking a slight peek over on her screen.  
  
Red text. Of course, what should you have expected? She loves talking to that guy. What even is her fascination with him? You scoff, turning on toe and heading back to your own computer. He was a douche. Not helpful whatsoever, but unfortunately essential as a time player in the new session.  
  
She’s still smiling. It’s not even the short lived laughing, she just brings her nose closer to the fucking screen and inhales, her lips turned up in an almost permanent seeming smile. She borrowed Nepeta’s drawing tablet earlier; you watched with an eyebrow raised as she set it up and started drawing shit on the screen. Let the blind girl be the artist. Great idea, Strider.  
  
But even still, she’s quietly chuckling as you hear another ‘ping’ come from her computer. She was giggling at you just a few minutes ago, but you shoved her off. Don’t want her getting the wrong idea. That you were actually friends.  
  
Well.  
You guess you are friends. You’re not really sure what you are. Acquaintances, partners-in-crime, she sort of IS your second in command. As much as you hate to admit it, she is quite useful. And has saved your ass once. Twice. A few times but come on, since when are we keeping score of how many times she’s bailed you out? Never, that’s when. Never and we’re not starting today, buddy.  
  
You think back during your own session, her barging the hell in with her stupid (but handy) stabcane, and the two of you fighting imps alongside each other. The ogres were a bit of a challenge, the two of you attacked them with an unspoken strategy. It was almost perfect sync; a bit strange since you were always afraid of training with another troll. The blood color issue was enough to keep you in your hive most of the time.  
  
Fuck, it was almost crazy how good she was. She would spin around, lacerating the other imp quickly while taking care of the one that was sneaking up on you. Almost funny how a blind troll can fight better than you. You’re almost ashamed of it, but screw it. You have to give her credit sometimes, no matter how much you despise her.  
  
Despise her. Yeah, obviously. The hate between you is plainly obvious. No, not black. Don’t be a fucking idiot, you can’t be black for her. That’s stupid. You don’t even know what to call her, so you’ll stick with sometimes-but-not-often friend.  
  
You hear another chuckle and you glance over, annoyed that she’s broken your inner conversation with yourself. Leaning back a bit in your shitty chair (that’s why your posture is bad, why would you assume anything else) you see miles of red and teal text, along with links to what you can only assume are shitty drawings.  
  
She leans back, turning her head slightly towards you and raising an eyebrow, silently questioning your actions. Shit. Your chair slams forward and you bury your gaze to your computer screen again, chewing on your cheek in frustration. She shrugs, going back to her own personal douchebag before you sigh and slam your head down on the table.  
  
Pushing your chair back with a frustrating screeching sound that everybody turns back and gives you an aggravated look, you glare at them as you step on one of the transportalizers and get the fuck out of there.  
  
 _Bam_. Your feet hit the ground around the same time you facepalm. What is with her? You are such an i _diot_ around her, and you don’t even know why! Some of the shit you say, you want to just flip a table sometimes after you hit enter.  
  
Or after you talk to her in person.  
  
That shit is almost more intimidating. It’s because she’s right there. Living and breathing in front of you, and holy shit it kind of terrifies you. Not only because she’s about an inch taller than you, but also the fact that she’s chortling at something stupid you _really_ did, pushing her _real_ glasses up back on her nose while twirling her _real_ cane and whacking your _real_ legs with it just to piss you off.  
  
She wasn’t supposed to be here, in front of you, in all your vulnerability. Online, you could deal with her and her obnoxious laughing with your angry gray words and overly exaggerated anger that wasn’t always all that exaggerated with her. Which is why you probably did The Thing, because you were a complete and utter dumbass.  
  
That’s it, blame everything on your own idiocy because, come on, it’s a completely valid thing to blame here.  
  
The Thing. Fuck, you almost want to die thinking about it. But come on, she was just so close and you couldn’t really help it bit-  
NO.  
  
You’re not doing this. You’re not going through this thought process again. You hate her, remember?  
  
You wonder if she hates you. You wonder if she hates you after what you did. What did she even think about it? It’s not like she said much, not really. I mean, after the last imp for a little bit was gone, you were just taking a break. A harmless break, I mean sheesh, you were both out of breath! A complete fool could see you needed a break.  
  
So you just sat down, chatting a bit casually and collecting your winnings before it just happened.  
  
She was just really close, and was trying a stupid balancing act on a rock before you grabbed her hand and she jumped down with a small smile. And then you, the complete and utter idiot you were at the time, just pulled her close and smashed your lips against hers.  
  
Her face was so bright and yours was too, you’re sure of it but she didn’t pull away and neither did you for a few moments. She eventually relaxed and that’s when you pulled away, shocked at what you did. You stared at her, nothing coming out of your mouth before you sputtered out some nonsensical apology and picked up her cane, twirling it in your hands before handing it to her.  
  
Her face, still ridiculously teal for her own composure to be typically pretty strong, took it silently before she opened her mouth to say something. At that moment, you weren’t even going to deal with rejection. Sorry, but you’ve been slaying imps all day and dealing with assholes and you are tired as fuck so you just don’t want to hear it.  
  
And you turned and walked away.  
  
After walking circles around the meteor, you eventually transportalize back and take your regularly acclaimed seat, slumping down in it before hearing another another giggle. Your head shoots up, eyes circling the room before landing on her and her hand is pressed up against her mouth, trying to hide the excitement and laughter from everyone in the room.  
  
You glance over.  
  
Bright red text.

  
♋

  
_Shit shit shit shit shit._  
 _Where is she. You’ve got to keep fucking running because you don’t know where the hell she is and you just need to find her make sure she’s okay ma-_  
  
Everything has just fallen to shit. You’ve done it again, Vantas. You have literally brought everything to shit. Half of your ‘friends’ are dead or drop shit crazy, and it’s pretty much all your fault. You’re sick of seeing blood stains and hearing those creepy ass honking sounds and you’re sick of rounding corners afraid of what you’re going to find.  
  
You’re sick of failing.  
  
You never should have begged Terezi to be the leader of that stupid team. Not that it mattered now, I mean you were all merged into one anyways. But now, you worked so hard to prove yourself worthy to lead this pack of assholes to victory in what you thought was a stupid game.  
  
But you failed that too.  
  
Your esteem is crumpling, and your hands ball into fists around your sickle handles as you pause quietly, back pressed against the wall. You’re listening for sounds, and to your thoughts. Pretending that the honks were inaudible, you sink to the ground for a moment.  
  
 _Gotta find her. Vantas stand the fuck up and find her!_  
  
She’s probably dead anyways.  
  
The picture immediately floods your mind. Her, lying crumpled on the cold ground, hand still firmly gripped around her cane in an attempt of defense. Fallen in a position that shouldn’t be possible if you were alive, blood seeping out from an injury on her head. Glasses askew, her eyes squinched shut, even though she wouldn’t have seen the attack anyways.  
  
 _Failure._  
 _Failurefailurefailurefailure._  
 _You fucking FAILED._  
 _YOU’RE DONE. YOU CAN’T DO ANYMORE._  
 _YOU LOST._  
  
You’re done. You are Karkat Vantas and you are officially done being the leader. All the stress and shit of dealing with these assholes? Bad. All of the stress and shit of dealing with these assholes when a third of them die and a third of them go batshit insane? Unbearable.  
  
Sunk on the floor, head leaning against the wall, you shut your eyes and growl in frustration. You wonder where she is. You wonder if she’s dead, for about the tenth time in the past second. You wonder if she’s not.  
  
You hope that she’s not.  
  
But you’re not the Knight of Hope. You’re the Knight of Blood. And damn if you don’t have the blood of these assholes on your hands now. There’s splotches of color on the walls, painted in smiley faces and short words such as ‘honk’ and ‘motherfucker’ littered on the walls, making you sick to your stomach every single time you even look up. Better keep your eyes shut.  
  
 _Honk._  
  
God DAMN it. And you’re sick of pretending to not hear these sounds, they’re almost encasing you. Your bloodpusher is beating like you’ve just ran a marathon, and you can almost feel your pulse when you grip your sickles just a little bit tighter. You can’t do this.  
  
You can’t fail again. You’ve done it too many times. You just need to lay here and die. Because there’s no way anyone’s alive. There’s no way she’s alive, and you can’t be the leader if she’s not there being the reason you’re leading these assholes in the first place.  
  
Please. As much as you deny it, she’s the reason you fucking played this in the first place. The reason you try as hard as you do to prove yourself. Hasn’t she done it too? With her fucking disability, then learning to see by smelling almost just to spite Vriska. It’s incredible, as much as you hate to admit it, she’s incredible. The things she’s done are incredible.  
  
You can’t let her down.  
  
You’ll see this to the end.  
  
Shakily you stand up, brushing the hair out of your eyes and picking up the sickle you dropped on the floor. Ignoring the paint that looked eerily like blood on the wall in front of you, immediately you took off towards the roof. Running as fast as you can, you blocked out the continuing sounds that will haunt you forever now. Up the stairs.  
 _One, two, three seconds without hearing a-HONK._  
 _One, two- HONK._  
 _One- HONK._  
  
The note was gripped in your free hand. The one badly written in her quirk. The only assumption you had she was dead. Or the fact that you couldn’t help but assume the worst. Throwing open one of the last doors, you carried yourself faster than you thought you could move to a transportalizer, instantly brought to the roof.  
  
 _Aaagh-!_  
  
A choked sound came from your right. Spinning around immediately, you see something crash to the ground.  
  
Nonononononono.  
Please please no.  
Please.  
 **NO.**  
  
An orange figure falls, blue wings crumple, and a familiar looking cane was pulled out of the suddenly still chest of the girl. Dead. The one who worked so hard to become invincible, killed by her own sister.  
  
Her sister.  
  
Sister.  
  
You dropped your weapons, the heavy metal clanging against the cold surface of the roof. Not loud, but loud enough for the girl to turn around. Her cane is dripping, and you can almost see the terror in her face at the action she just performed. Almost a face of shame. You can read her like a book, even with her glasses covering her eyes.  
  
She opens her mouth to speak but instead closes it and steps over the still warm body of what used to be her best friend, not turning her head towards it.  
  
How. How did she.  
How.  
HOW?  
  
You run towards her, the force of you crashing into her making you both utter small ‘oofs’ until you wrap your arms around her neck, pulling her close. She doesn’t say anything, tears just start streaming from her eyes as she drops her own weapon and her arms find their way around you. You’re mumbling incoherently into her hair, ignoring the fact that you’re on the verge of tears yourself. Because she’s _alive_. You never would have thought.  
  
But you should have known better. You said it yourself. She’s incredible.  
  
She mumbles your name into your ear, and you just pull her closer. She’s incredible, she’s perfect, she’s fucking alive and in your arms and you think maybe just maybe if the two of you can pull through this, you might just actually be okay.  
  
You don’t care that there’s blood splattered across her face, you don’t care that you’re covered in scratches and you’re about to crumple to the ground. You pull away and stare at her, she wipes her face with her sleeve and turns her head towards you with a sad smile.  
  
Who even cares about whatever struggles you’ve had during this game? Who cares about the conflicting feelings you’ve been analyzing obsessively, trying to figure out what you feel. You don’t. Who worries about that kind of stuff in a moment like this?  
  
This time it’s her that wreck your lips together, her incentive. You jump a little, grip tightening on her before you even realizing what’s happening. You feel warm from the tips of your toes to your horns, and she’s leaning up into you and suddenly you don’t feel like everything is going to shit because she actually cares about you.  
  
And you care about her. A lot.  
  
♋

You can still hear her giggling downstairs. Even from your seemingly soundproof block that you’ve been hiding out for almost a year, you hear her cracking up and the crash of a tower of cans falling to the ground. Damn those cans. Damn Strider and his stupid ass shades. You are literally done. You tried too hard and you actually thought you won. After the incident and eventually calming down, you had her supporting you and a moirail to care for, and hey. Maybe you’ll be okay. Maybe you can beat this game.  
  
But then _he_ showed up, and _he_ took her away. You’re not really sure what happened, where you drifted apart. There was a point where you stayed in your respiteblock for days, the realization of your friend’s deaths suddenly settling in. She would knock at your door, and you just didn’t even move. You pretended you were asleep, or working on something. Another irritated sigh was heard through the door, and footsteps were audible as she walked away from your door.  
  
You weren’t trying to avoid her. But what could she do? The others were still dead. She couldn’t bring them back. The least she could do would be to leave you alone while you sorted out all your shit.  
  
 _Or she could help you. If you let her._  
  
You’re not going to do that to her. Honestly, look at her. She’s been happier now that she’s reunited with her douchebag than she’s been in a long time. Whatever happened between you two would be selfish of you to try and salvage. You don’t think they’re dating.  
  
 _But it’s only a matter of time._  
  
Yeah, sure. It’s only a fucking matter of time before she can officially call him ‘her douchebag’ and they live happily ever after until Noir slaughters the fuck out of us all.  
  
Okay, maybe that was a bit morbid. You shrug. You pretend you’re not dying inside. Like you don’t have this mighty need for her to be in your arms again, even if it’s for a second. A few days ago, you were a complete idiot and tried to be a civilized fucker. Which just proves that you weren’t meant for civility.  
  
Pulling up your symbol sweater again, you grimace at the bruises on your back from where you were slammed onto that table. Fuck, all you did was grab his shoulder! He wasn’t listening, the prick he was. You were talking about a damn serious matter, and he just  
fucking  
flipped you onto a table.  
  
Who actually does that?  
  
You facepalm in retaliation to your own stupidity. You were stupid enough to actually think he would actually listen to you about something like that! Holy shit, it’s not like he would understand quadrants. He barely understands his surroundings, he would barely be able to comprehend something as complex as your and Terezi’s relationship.  
  
Or Terezi and Dave’s relationship.  
  
 _What relationship. You still have a chance!_  
 _No. No you don’t._  
  
You decided to head downstairs. See what was going on for the first time in a few days. Things got more than a bit awkward when you caught Strider telling her what happened in the lab a few days ago.  
  
They both stopped talking instantly when you walked into the room, and she stared at you with an expression of something that you couldn’t really tell what it was, but it was strong. You want to say it was hate, but you can’t be sure. Sure if she can completely hate you after just doing something stupid like that.  
  
But apparently it is possible.  
  
You’re now hiding, watching the two of them attempt to pass the time by alchemizing numerous boxes of chalk. The carapace runs past you, toting a few brightly colored cans of soda as he stumbled over his cables that held his mayoral sash.  
  
You scoffed, helping him pick up one of the soda cans before he nodded his thanks and rushed back off to Strider and Terezi, both grinning like complete idiots as she drew a new addition to the town. Some other building. Red, obviously. He was the new red one. Brighter candy red, just how she liked it. It wasn’t worth screwing up again, Strider obviously made her happier than she’s been in a long time.  
  
It made you smile, despite how it was made, still watching her smile. You could tell whenever it was genuine, or whenever it was bullshit. However, you wanted to hit yourself. That should be you, that she was grinning at. That could have been you, but you were too much of an idiot to do anything. Instead, you sat there and mourned your failures while she tried to be there for you. But you wouldn’t let her. Why?  
  
Because you’re an asshole.  
  
You jump slightly at the sound of chalk scraping at the floor, and Dave shrugs and mumbles something about food and walks off. You cringe as he walks beside you, pretending he doesn’t see you as you pretend to be extremely absorbed in what’s on the screen of your husktop. You aren’t spying, you’re just lurking around suspiciously. Nobody on this rock is smart enough to know the difference anyways.  
  
Your eyes follow him until the door latch clicks with the confirmation that yes, he is gone. Clearing your throat quietly, you clack extra loudly at the keys to give some sort of significance that you’re in the room with her. She doesn’t notice. You didn’t expect her to, anyways. Guess you have to do this the hard way, okay.  
  
Captchaloging your husktop and slowly getting to your feet, you pretend to be extraordinarily interested in your shoelaces. She still doesn’t realize you’re in there. Or she’s ignoring you, but she wouldn’t do that.  
  
Would she?  
  
You push that thought away forcefully, walking quietly over to her and clearing your throat again, leaning up against the wall with your hands shoved in your pockets.  
  
“Karkat you know we can hear you sitting all the way over there typing away, it’s not news to me that you’re in here.”  
  
Oops.  
  
She smiles slightly, not turning towards you. Just puts the piece of chalk she’s using back into the carton before closing the lid and turning towards you with an exasperated expression. “What do you need?” She asks, not cold but not exactly what you wanted either.  
  
This was a stupid idea. Fuck, this was a really stupid idea. You’ve spent too long arguing with yourself (literally) over this, concluding that you are yes, in fact, really really stupid. “I was just coming to say hello.” You say, scowling a bit as you shove your hands deeper into your pockets.  
  
“No you weren’t. You’ve been sitting over there for an hour. What do you want?” She asks again, tapping her foot. Shit, she even looks agitated. Weren’t you supposed to be the agitated one here? You were supposed to be mad at her! So why can’t you just yell at her?  
  
 _Because you’re the one that fucked up._  
  
No! Shut up. You glare at her, ignoring the fact that it won’t do much good, and you gaze back at the ground. “Calm your shit, Rez. I told you, I was saying hello. It’s not like I’m trying to piss you off. That’s your job.” You say, annoyed. She stiffens at the nickname.  
  
Shit, did you really just call her that? “Sorry, I-” You begin but she shakes her head and begins to walk off. You grab her arm, scowling. “No. No no no you are not walking the fuck away from me. I’m sorry, okay?” You say, annoyed but against your better judgement you slide your hand down and grab her hand.  
  
Her expression becomes strained and she won’t turn towards you, and that’s when you realize you really fucked up. You really fucked up, and you’re standing there grabbing her hand like the pathetic sap you are when the door flings open.  
  
“TZ, I brought snacks.”  
  
You jump and she yanks her arm away, walking over to Dave and grabbing the bag with a small giggle as you stand there, mouth open.  
  
It’s incredible how stupid you can be to let someone like that go.

  
♋  
  
The only person you ever told that you wanted to be a thresecutioner was Terezi, so it was surprising when you muttered your insecure wriggler thoughts at Meenah. You don’t really understand Meenah’s fascination with you, but hell if you’re not thankful that she dragged you away from your ancestor. You didn’t even believe in that shit anyways, you just thought it was something that Serket made up to make her background seem even greater.  
  
Unfortunately, it wasn’t. Ha, if she was here she would probably be ashamed of her ancestor. All she does is blab a lot. Seemingly like your own ancestor. You shake your head, annoyed. You could barely look at him, his sweater was blinding and his words sent you to the hell of social justice because you just did not give one fuck. There were just plainly no fucks to be given.  
  
So yeah, you can thank Meenah for getting you out of that. She really wasn’t half bad. You could put up with her, at least. And that says more than most everyone else. You’re not really sure if you would go off and fight the giant ass demon everyone’s been talking about. It seems kind of terrifying. But at this point, what do you have left to lose? Your pride? Your friends? Most are pretty much gone now.  
  
You just left her hanging out in your dream respiteblock thing. You had better shit to do, anyways. Like wander around the treetops of this place you just found yourself in. It looks familiar, though.  
  
Oh, who are you fooling. You know exactly where you are, and it makes you a bit nervous inside. This is exactly where she used to live, and you used to be paranoid of her living alone in the trees because you thought she couldn’t take care of herself.  
  
Yeah, because Terezi clearly can’t take care of herself. Funny joke, there.  
  
You’re not even sure what’s going on with her and Strider. Not that it’s your business, anyways. You’ve barely talked in about a year. You tried initiating casual conversation once maybe, but chickened out because, why? Why should you even bother, you fucked up. The fact is, you just want her back as a friend. You miss her companionship, even if it’s not in the way that you want it. Just having her work with you, having her be your second-in-command, yeah. You miss it.  
  
Which is why you’re pretty damn nervous that you’re going to run into her around here. You wander around a bit, searching for other ancestors or other familiar faces that can take your mind off what you’re really looking for. Chest after chest you open, just finding random shit that everyone’s left lying around. Nobody’s in sight.  
  
 _What did you think you were going to find? A forgiving Terezi Pyrope, waiting for you?_  
  
Well, what you were expecting it surely wasn’t what you found.  
  
Spinning around to head back up the stairs, a bright red thing catches your eye before you realize it has horns. And eyes sewn onto the front of it. And a teal libra symbol on a black t shirt. But the weird thing is, she’s completely silent.  
  
Like she’s hiding. Completely.  
Silent.  
  
Glancing up at the sky, sending a small curse to whatever force brought you here and is giving you the intentions to go talk to her, you go stand in front of her. It’s almost like she’s dead. Terezi just stands there, dragon cosplay pulled down over her eyes before you eventually snap your fingers in front of her face.  
  
“Terezi. Terezi!”  
“What.”  
  
Oh. Well, of all the things you expected, you didn’t expect just one word.  
“What are you doing out here? Are you okay?”  
“I’m fine.” She replied, her grip tightening on the cane. “Can you just leave me alone?”  
  
 _No. No you won’t leave her alone because something’s up._  
  
“Fine. If you want me to go, I will. If you’re sure you don’t want to talk about it.” He said, and took the silence as key to sit down. She didn’t acknowledge you in any way. Fuck.  
  
“Was it Dave? What the hell did he do?” You said, a bit harsher than you meant it. Yeah. You shouldn’t have said that, it was your own ego and hope that made it just come out of your mouth. You’re such an idiot.  
  
“It’s not Dave, Karkat. It never was Dave. It’s my ancestor, okay?” She muttered, her head turning away from you. Her ancestor. Her annoying as fuck ancestor, who claims she actually has a disability and dicks around on her skateboard that’s dying for her to have a damn head injury?  
“I can’t measure up to her. Come on. She’s just...really rad. How am I supposed to live up to that?” Terezi said quietly, burying her face in her knees.  
  
Oh come on.  
Oh come _on._  
  
“Y-you can’t be serious. Are you shitting me right now?” You ask, incredulous. She doesn’t reply, and you roll your eyes. “Terezi, fucking hell. You’ve never had a self esteem issue before. It’s not like you. It’s stupid. You shouldn’t even try to be like her. She’s annoying as hell!” You exclaim. This is probably the most you’ve spoken in a sweep to her.  
  
“No she’s not. She’s cool.” She says quietly, and you throw up your hands in frustration. “It’s an act! It’s a goddamn act, Terezi. She’s dying for attention, and that’s not like you. You are not her, and she is not you. You’re different people, for fucks sake! You don’t need to try to be the good person that you already are!” It’s almost like word vomit at this point. You cannot believe she’s feeling like this, and it tears you apart and at the same time makes you want to hate her but you know you can’t.  
  
She doesn’t say anything, but you can see a bit more of her face as she turns towards you. Now embarrassed, you have no choice but to carry on. “I get it. I screwed up...some stuff. That’s that. Whatever. But if I have to say one last thing, it’s that you need to pick yourself off this goddamn ground and stop this. Because you shouldn’t be hiding behind an act like every other ancestor is. They’re a joke! That’s why they’re all dead, Terezi. You don’t need to come up with something else to be, all I’m asking is that you don’t do that.” You carry on, realizing how much you need to get out of this conversation before it tears you to bits. “This probably isn’t any of my business. I get it. You just deserve to be happy, that’s all I want, and I’m sorry.” You murmur, and she continues her silent act.  
  
But you feel a lot better.  
You said what you needed to say, and it almost feels like you sort of fixed something. She’s still silent, you almost want to say she fell asleep but you know better. You just dragged yourself into this pile of shit, now you’ve said what you needed to say and that’s your cue to leave.  
  
“And I promise, that’s it.” You say as you dust yourself off, standing up, and start walking back up the stairs with clenched fists, your claws already digging into your palms in frustration. You did what you wanted to do, and that’s it. Walking back into your hive, you sink back against a wall and shut your eyes as tight as they will go. Burying your face in your knees, you listen to the eerie silence before you hear the sound of a door opening.  
  
“Out.” You mutter, not really caring who it was. Footsteps come closer, and stop right in front of you. Lifting your head, there’s a hand extended to you and Terezi’s standing there with her hood pulled down, expression nervous. You raise an eyebrow at her, and she shakes her hand a bit impatiently before you realize you should take it. She yanks you up to a standing position, and her arms wrap around you tightly before you can even realize you’re on your feet.  
  
“Wh-” You’re trying to talk but you’re being crushed by her and she buries her face into your chest, crying.  
  
“Fucking hell, you’re an idiot Karkat Vantas.”  
  
You contemplate this for a moment, and she pulls away from your chest and just stands there, with her arms wrapped around you. Cautiously, your arms go around her again and you nod.

“I know.” You say quietly, but you can’t help but smile as she kisses your cheek gently and you pull her back on the ground in your arms again.

  
♋  
  
Nobody actually knows what they’re doing. You can’t just walk through everything with a straight out plan. You have to realize that shit is going to happen, no matter what your ‘life plan’ says. Shit is always going to happen. So you gotta drag yourself the fuck out of bed, and face that day with an attitude of this is a piece of shit but I have to do it anyways.  
The point is, everything and everyone is always trying to fuck you over, no matter if you like it or not. Personally, you don’t. But it’s not like you had much of a choice. It’s fucking life, you deal with it. Sometimes you do shit right.  
  
She leans over the back of your chair, her chin resting on your shoulder as she watches you play some silly game. You didn’t realize she was there, but it doesn’t really surprise you anymore. You don’t jump when she suddenly appears right next to you. She’s just there.  
  
 _And she’s there for a reason. She cares about you._  
  
You don’t know how this worked out in your favor. But you’re thanking whatever higher power there is, because you actually realize you probably couldn’t have gotten better without her.  
  
She’s incredible, and she’s a part of you, whether she wanted to be or not. Sometimes you still question the reason she’s here. You’re not really sure what you are, or why anybody would try to organize it in something as simple as a quadrant. To you, it’s a lot more than that. You’re not sure if it is to her or not, but it’s something bigger than a section of your relationships. It’s _Terezi._  
  
She kisses the top of your head, and you smile slightly as your fingers pause on the keyboard.  
  
“I’m busy.” You say, even though you both know that’s not true and she spins your desk chair around and plops in your lap. Rolling your eyes, you roll your shitty chair away from the table your husktop was sitting on and pull her legs up in your lap too. “You should finish your stuff, then.” She replies, tsking at you. Of course.  
  
You glare at her and she laughs again, her lips touching yours gently for a moment before she breaks out in another fit of giggles.  
  
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” You say, annoyed but can’t keep the grin off your own damn face. Fucking hell, this is what she’s doing to you. She raises her eyebrows, and you shake your head and kiss her again because you can. She’s letting you, and you’re not terrified and she’s _yours._  
  
And for the first time almost ever, you feel on top of this goddamn world.

**Author's Note:**

> So, if you read this, I would really love if you read the notes so that you know I didn't just barf Karezi everywhere.  
> Homestuck is set up in a way so that the reader empathizes with Karkat. In a way, I think this is why there are a lot of Karezi shippers because it's a simple technique Hussie uses when writing Homestuck. But besides empathizing with Karkat, Karezi is honestly a great ship that I'm proud to call my OTP. There's been a bit of a feud with Karezi and Daverezi, and I just want to state that it's ridiculous. It's Homestuck, you guys. Think about this entire comic that we're reading, and then think about the petty anon hate you're sending.
> 
> I can relate to Karkat a lot, and that's why it feels so natural writing him. This was my first story in second person, and I know I screwed a lot of it up but honestly I just don't want to go through and fix it. This is just a lot of Karezi feelings and headcanons and thoughts all jumbled into one, and I really really needed to write something down after this past update. Karkat comes a bit natural to me, as he does with a lot of readers because I think a lot of people see qualities in themselves that he has, such as the insecurity and the fear engraved in his personality. But he's not only that, and he's much more than a hard shell. Not to be confused with he's purely emotion. He's a complex character, and I know hundreds of writers can probably write him better than me, but this was my try at it.
> 
> I would love to hear your comments, or come check me out on Tumblr. My URL is majoringintezkat.
> 
> Let Karezi sail on! Ciao!  
> Heidi


End file.
